Metal MamaMetal, meet motherhood; motherhood meet metal. This is where my two loves meet & become one world. |
So badly.30 September 2012I want to feel your arms around me so badly it's like I can almost slip away and feel you here... then I come back to reality. We both take a lot for granted. Happy life, over coming the inevitable obstacles and going through the chapters together. Tomorrow afternoon cannot come soon enough. Taking Space28 September 2012My best friend is on a bus right now... I wish him the very best of luck too. These few days hopefully provide us both with exactly what we need. I know that I can't wait to wrap my arms around you and hug and kiss you. Good luck tomorrow to my real life Johnny. ;-) I love you baby. Labels: pool, relationships, Rich, space Phlebotomy Started18 September 2012I started my Phlebotomy class last week. I think it's something I am going to like. Mollie isn't even 2 yet and we've got broken bones... Daddy's... she broke his rib. They we're playing the other night. 5 days later he finally see's the Dr. It's almost time to pick apples!!!! I love this time of year. Too bad it seems like I'm fighting the PTSD demon more than ever before. I won't give up. I won't give up. Labels: 24 months, apple picking, Dr, education, me, Mollie, Phlebotomy, Rich Barely there.08 September 2012I might be barely there to you, but I know where I am every night.... I know that I matter to two of the most beautiful little people in the world.
PTSD and Me, I know that I matter enough to know that I think about you every day and wonder if you had interrupted sleep the night before, but I don't dare ask. If you did have a rough night, I don't want to rehash those thoughts for you. The flesh, bombs, blood, the explosions... I actually do understand that those moments never leave your mind.... they are forever imprinted like a stamp to a piece of paper.... like ink to skin. Permanent. Your mind isn't under your control and your a soldier so you are supposed to be in control. I GET IT.
You think after all this time I still don't get it. I get it more than ever. Just let me love you.
Thankful07 September 2012I am thankful for some of the most beautiful and bittersweet moments I've experienced in my life... I've shared them with a beautiful person. Someone that I thought wanted me in their life forever. I thought I was part of their purpose, part of their path, future, forever. I don't know what I do know anymore. I received one of the sweetest compliments while sitting on a river bank with you. The best laughs I've had with you by my side and I usually think what a great laugh you have and how I'll never miss hearing that laugh next to me and seeing that smile. Of all the things06 September 2012Out of all the things I never knew. I never knew that it was unsure if I was in the future.... I thought it was you and I, forever, until the end of time, cause we're in it together forever baby. I won't give up. That's my two cents. When I look into your eyes It's like watching the night sky Or a beautiful sunrise Well, there's so much they hold And just like them old stars I see that you've come so far To be right where you are How old is your soul? Well, I won't give up on us Even if the skies get rough I'm giving you all my love I'm still looking up And when you're needing your space To do some navigating I'll be here patiently waiting To see what you find 'Cause even the stars they burn Some even fall to the earth We've got a lot to learn God knows we're worth it No, I won't give up I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not And who I am I won't give up on us Even if the skies get rough I'm giving you all my love I'm still looking up Still looking up. I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up) God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved) We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved) God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it) I won't give up on us Even if the skies get rough I'm giving you all my love I'm still looking up "I Won't Give Up" Jason Mraz Phlebotomy 201205 September 2012Proud to say that I will be one of the students participating in the Phlebotomy program this fall. Labels: fall, for my kids, proud, school |
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